The second root was pride. I found a therapist, a decision that felt like admitting defeat but turned out to be the most victorious choice I ever made. In that small room with its neutral carpet and box of tissues, I learned that my struggles were not unique flaws but common human experiences. I learned to name my emotions: shame, grief, fear. Naming them did not make them disappear, but it stripped them of their monstrous power. They became weather, not identity.
My descent began quietly, as most do. I was a high achiever, the kind of student and young professional who collected accolades like others collected stamps. Every success was a brick in a fortress I was building against vulnerability. The problem was that fortresses, once built, also keep things in . When the first cracks appeared—a job loss, a relationship severed, a bank account drained—I did not reach out. Instead, I dug deeper. I told myself that admitting pain was weakness, that asking for help was failure, and that if I just worked harder, smiled brighter, and moved faster, I could outrun the shadow that was lengthening behind me. the roots how i got over zip
The third and deepest root was the most difficult to extract: the belief that I had to earn love and safety through perfection. I had to learn, slowly and painfully, to treat myself with the same compassion I would offer a struggling friend. This meant forgiving myself for the job I lost, for the money I wasted, for the relationships I damaged. It meant accepting that healing is not linear—that some days I would feel whole, and other days I would wake up back in the swamp. But now, I knew the way out. The second root was pride
I did not “get over” my pain in a single, heroic moment. There was no montage of triumphant workouts or tearful reconciliations set to uplifting music. Instead, “getting over” was a slow, unglamorous process of untangling those roots by hand, one knotted fiber at a time. I learned to name my emotions: shame, grief, fear